“I’m your average American who believes in limited government, my body, my choice — for men — and suppressed voting rights for alternatively skinned people.”
Aidy Bryant's obsequious Cruz also begs Donald Trump: "Hit me, choke me, spit in my face. I just want to stay in the mix.”
"my toxic trait is saying 'what?' when my cat meows and expecting a legitimate answer"
At least he "went the entire summer without falling down the stairs once," boasted "Biden."
“Put on your coziest flannel and maybe we just chill out for the next 90 minutes," said the laid-back "SNL" host.
“So, what college do you girls go to? Oh, you’re in high school? Could’ve fooled me!” says Wilson's changed "Cars" character LIghtning McQueen.
"i love when my cat purrs for no reason. she’s just happy to be here."
Aidy Bryant's Ted Cruz wanted to know how to shut down "toxic, extremist" Facebook groups like "Ted Cruz Sucks."
"When your ex needs to go to space about it, you won the divorce," one Twitter user said.
"Never trust anyone who doesn’t think their dog is the best dog."
"Every time we call the vet they call our cat ‘the baby’ and they are right."
“Oh my God,” says Yang. “You just outed me on national television.” All he wanted to talk about was a strike at Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
But as for QAnon, Satan warned: “Don’t drag my good name into your sick fantasies."
Sudeikis quipped about the comedy show being pumped up by cocaine, adrenaline, Starbucks, Adderall and fear over the years.
"I love dry cereal it feels like im eating dog food for girls"
"do u think service dogs think other dogs are losers with no job or do u think they’re jealous of dogs with no job"
Kyle Mooney's Santa complains before the coronavirus expert that the COVID vaccine has made his testicles balloon to the size of grapes.
"Are the vibes off or does everyone have covid?"